Welcome to the Annual Foreign Diplomat Gala, held annually here at the London Waldorf!

Er, Boris, there, will check your invitation, if you don't mind; pure formality, of course... Clear? Smashing! Well, make yourself right at home! You'll find waiters circulating with vodka martinis, shaken, not stirred, naturally; also do feel free to help yourself to an aperitif... Beluga caviar and goat cheese, I believe, are being served at the refreshment table, along with a fine red Galliano '62.

Now, the reason we called you here is that we believe Dr. Evil has set a trap for you at this very banquet. One of these foreign diplomats is, in fact, one of Dr. Evil's assassins!

While you're waiting for this assassin to make his (or her...?) move, simply circulate around, being your normal charming self. There is a baccarat table (with all proceeds going to charity) over in the east corner there; but please, do leave some money for the charity...

Good luck, and remember: you are licenced to kill...

Oh, and one more thing...
As you know, MI6 recently moved to new headquarters in central London. Similarly, this, the online central database of British Intelligence, is undergoing a move to a new, more central and altogether more secret location...

brook_jones@hotmail.com